Collateral Damage

Well, just to quickly update on the situation - me getting into STAR unit is completely out of my reach. The only possible way to get in is if I signed on after my NS training which is 99% not gonna happen. So right now, I am not aiming to get into STAR unit but I am still however, still aiming for the SOC. This time, the posting will probably be the Police Tactical Unit (PTU) instead of STAR.

On Wednesday, we had a SOC road show where the SOCs came down to our place to present to us the things they do in the force. There were a lot of interesting things that they showed but at the same time, I was a bit 'reserved' as well because one of the instructors told us that comparing the SOC camp and the police academy here, the people at the SOC camp would consider the academy a holiday resort. There will be a lot of swearing, cursing, shouting, yelling, the whole lot. That was the part that really got to me. That was the part that I really didn't want. I wanted everything else, but not that. So that's why I'm just a bit cautious now because I will have to prepare myself mentally if I do manage to get in.

One of the main 'requirements' that they suggested one should possess is mental resilience. Personally, I know that I have that. I know I can really force myself to push further which is why usually I'll be one step ahead of other people when it comes to physical challenges. During training, I have the determination to push myself to the limit. But then of course, I know my limitations.
On Wednesday and Thursday, they really had it at us. They were physically pushing us by making us do easily at least 100 push ups in one session. On Thursday, we had PT and our dojo lesson. During those two lessons, we were punished multiple times as we were forced to do all sorts of pushups. Two of which comes to mind; diamond power pushup and finger interlock pushup. Actually, we are not allowed to do finger interlock pushups because one of our instructors told us that it is dangerous. Reason being when we do it, our elbow is restricted from bending freely so it is really dangerous. Take note of this pushup.
As for the diamond power pushup, for those who don't know how it is done, basically you have your hands together forming a shape of a diamond with your thumbs and index fingers. And to do the 'power' part, you basically have to leap off the ground everytime you push up. But that's not it. The starting position is when your body is near the ground; in other words, when your arms are suspending your body as you approach the ground. Everytime we did one pushup, we would have to return to this starting position before they called out 'Go' again. This was one pushup I couldn't properly do. There was no way I had the strength to suspend my body with my arms so low to the ground with my hands in that position. That was the only pushup I followed the rest of the crowd as I laid on the ground on my hands.

So anyway, on Wednesday, they had us do at least 100 pushups and 160 Jumping Jacks because of one idiot's mistake. If someone were to move unnecessarily, they would shout out 'Everyone to your right/left palms down' and now, those few words are what I hate the most and should be treated with the utmost respect.
On that day, after having been 'pumped' to the extreme, they then told us, 'Ok everybody! Raise your arms to your shoulder level.' I never knew I could experience such fatigue before! My shoulders were extremely tired and heavy that I was barely able to raise it 90 degrees from my body. It was as if all my strength was drained out of me and I had to rely on self-will and fear of getting everyone else in trouble for my weakness.

"Now, we are gonna start from this end. Start with '1' and the person behind you '2' and the person behind '3' and so on. Continue all the way back and then the next row until the end." There were at least half a dozen squads, if not more. Note that in my squad, there are 40 of us, so yeah, do the maths.

"1! 2! 3! 4! 5! .... " It kept going till I shouted something like 86 or something. I really can't remember. The pain was too immense for me to realise what I was yelling.

"Raise your arms higher! If you guys don't raise it up, we will do more pumping!"
AhhhH!!!! I forced myself to hold it up there. I tensed up my face to endure the pain that was surging through my shoulder and across my arms. I think I was trembling to a certain extent because it was so painful.

I tried to hold it there but the pain was simply unbearable. My shoulders was so heavy. they were like gonna fall apart if I didn't do anything about it. They keep dropping down lower and lower till it was at a 45 degree angle.

"Ok everyone! Put your arms in front of you! But do not hold your hands!" In some small way, it helped a bit. Moving it into a different position soothed my shoulders a slight bit. However, the pain was still there. I held it there for as long as I could without letting my hands hold itself or allowing it to drop. By this time, the number was somewhere around 130.

After another 100 people, the instructors shouted, "Everyone! Life your arms above your head!" People started to pull their arms up whereas there I was, still in that position without any strength to pull it up. So I allowed my arms to sling down and as it swinged back, I used the momentum to pull it up above my head. But somehow, my arms seem to wanna drop back down. I then had to lean backwards to allow my arms to tilt to the back as I locked my elbows into place. Now, not so much pain was on my shoulders but now, they were all on my abs.

By 250 something, they had lost count and that was when the instructors called out, "Enough! Since you cannot count properly, we shall start at 1 again!" Everyone moaned and groaned as the count began, "1! 2! 3! 4! 5!..." Somewhere through the midst of the counting, the instructor gave up hope and yelled out, "Squat Sadeya!" (not too sure about the spelling but meh) Basically, that means to stand in attention with your heels together and your arms on your sides. It was a taste of paradise. To be able to relax your arms like that, it was so wonderful.

"Now, I'm going to count to 100. When I do, I don't want to see any movements. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir!"

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... " He lost count around 33 when he talked with someone who approached him. He asked us what number he stopped at and we told him 33.

"Doesn't matter. I'll start again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... " He could count again as many times for all I cared. Never had I wished someone would lose count when counting to 100 before. Every second was precious. Every second meant a chance to recover from any damage done to us.

When he finished counting, we were formed back into our squads again as we headed off for breakfast. At breakfast, everyone was dead. I could barely eat because I didn't have to strength to lift up my own spoon to feed myself. I had to fling the spoon into my mouth each time I took a bite.

On Thursday, it was the same. Just without the arm part. We were forced to do more pumping and that was when we did the diamond power pushup. By the time we started to do the diamond power pushup, I had no more strength to do it anymore. I was tired and had very little strength left in my arms. Everytime we went down, I would take a few seconds of rest on the ground.

Also, we had to do Jumping Jacks too. We did in total 160 Jumping Jacks. We started with 20 first. Then 50. Then 40. Then 30. Then 20 again. Everytime we finished doing them, he would start by saying "Jumping Jacks". That was when I would cry inside because he would ask us to do another obscene number of Jumping Jacks in our weakened state. And to finish up the PT session, we did 4 counts of 20 normal pushups. Which is basically doing normal push ups but stopping half way each time.

That afternoon, we had dojo. There we were punished because basically of us didn't practice the moves. I knew the moves but I didn't practice either. But unlike my other friends, I actually knew what to do when the instructor would shout out a command. Anyway, we were punished because of that and had to do all sorts of push ups; including the finger interlock one. That was probably what happened to me the next day.

When I woke up yesterday, Friday, I couldn't bend my right arm. This meant I couldn't do any push ups because I couldn't go down. It didn't help when we had PT that morning. And quite inevitably, we had to go right palms down. When they shouted that, I was the only person standing in the crowd and the instructor looked at me. He asked me why I was still standing and I explained to him that I couldn't bend my arm but I could do everything else. He then asked me why I didn't report to him when he asked if people were not feeling well. Then I told him that I could do everything else again. Then he goes, 'but isn't push ups included in everything else?' Actually, just thinking about it, I did mention that I said I could do everything else which excluded push ups, so I don't think I was wrong.

Anyway, he just told me to do squats and asked me if I knew what it was. I told him I knew how to do it and showed it to him.

In all, I had to do 100 squats during that session because we kept getting punished for one idiot's mistake.

Later he goes, "ok! We shall now do Infinity counts of 4 of Jumping Jacks. Does anyone have a problem with that?"

"No sir!"

"Infinity counts of 4, exercise begin! 1! ... 2! ... 3! ... ... 54! ... Last count and still! You! Oi! You! You want to be lazy is it? You don't want to lift your arms all the way up is it? Ok. Fine. Everyone but you to your right palms down! ... Take a look! Because of him, all of you shall do 50 push ups." This meant I had to do 100 squats! I focused my sight on one dot in front of me to focus myself to be ready for the 100 squats. It was just a way for me to focus without getting distracted or thoughts of quitting. I was getting ready. Despite all the beating I took already on my legs, I was ready.

"Everyone on your feets up!" I think the guy managed to give a sound explanation to his doing which is why we avoided those push ups/squats. Phew.

"Ok! Now, we will do it again. infinity counts of 4 of Jumping Jacks. Ready! Exercise begin! 1! ... 2! ... 3! ... "

By the time we reached 100 he goes, "C'mon guys! Another 50! Go go!" At this stage, some people were dropping out. They would stop for a moment and come back in as soon as they were ready. One of my friends said that he felt his calf muscle pull on him and he still continued to jump. The instructors later asked him why he continued and my friend said that he thought he could continue. The instructor gave him a good scolding because if anything were to happen to us, they would be in deep trouble. Extremely deep trouble.

After the 150 Jumping Jacks, we had to run the parade square 5 times following the instructor ahead. The instructor had a load of fun running in all sorts of directions. It was like those games where the snake gets longer and longer and you had to get the 'dot' on the screen except this time, the snake was 6 squads long with roughly 30-40 people in each squad.

So yeah, after all that squatting, jumping and running, you could say that my legs took a beating. A very bad beating. This morning when I woke up, I could barely stand. My arms were still sore and my legs, well, you get the point.

Just before I finish up, I will say this. On Wednesday in the afternoon, we had our first live shooting frame. There are 6 shooting frames and to get marksman, we have to get 80% or above. So anyway, on Wednesday we did our shooting and I'll just say I was so very nervous. My heart was beating hard and I could feel my hands shaking.
During our dry practice, I was fine. But like our instructor told us, we will tense up and shake because we're too tensed up. Just breathe in deep and relax.

So anyway, I was the last 'detail' to go in. Oh yeah, FYI, I am serial number 40. Meaning I am the youngest. That means I am always the last to do things in the squad. But I like the saying in the bible, "First will be last and last will be first." In this case, I like the concept of this saying XP hehehe
Anyhow, when it was my turn, I took note of the safety precautions and tried to be as calm as I could. I holstered my revolver and stood ready.

"Detail, watch your front!" That was when we had to hold the gun in the holster and have the other hand on our belt.

"1 round fire!" I pulled the revolver up and aimed. As I slowly pulled the trigger back, I heard the gunshots of my other friends and that was when my heart pumped harder! My hand began to shake and I thought I would never fire at the target 9m away. In the midst of all my shaking, I fired my first bullet and it shook me awake. The recoil was interesting. I knew there would be recoil, so to experience it for the first time was cool. I think the next time I grab hold of that revolver, I will be more ready.

Anyway, at the end of the first cycle, ie. 5 rounds, they brought the target up close for us to have a look at the damage we had done. I looked at my target and noticed only 4 hits. This indicates that I had missed one shot. Not too important. One miss is not too bad.
Then the targets went back 9metres again. We shot another 4 cycles at it but this time, 5 rounds at one command. That is, when the instructor said 'fire', we would shoot all 5 bullets in our cylinder.

After the 5th cycle, we reloaded our revolver again as they brought the target out 25m. The concept was the same. We aimed, we fire. After that cycle, they asked us to reload once more and fire at the target from our kneeling position. I fired the bullets and that was it.
The targets came towards us and we had a look at the culprit who was decimated. My target looked really nice. All my bullets struck the heart region. My bullets hardly flew upwards or downwards which was good cause you are meant to aim for the chest.
We brought our targets out and counted the bullets that hit the 'In' region. I noticed this cluster of bullets together so I asked one of the instructors how to count the number of bullets that hit that area. He showed me how to count the bullets and decided that he would count for me. He counted the bullets and said '35 in'. In case you haven't realised, there were 7 cycles where 1 cycle consists of 5 rounds. If you do the maths, that's 35 bullets in total which meant I got them all in.

Quite honestly, I didn't know how in the world I got them all in. I was shaking like crazy and I was sure I missed a whole lot. This was my first time I shot a gun with real bullets so there was no way I had prior experience to this. This was truly God's work in my trembling hands. There was no way I could have done anything like this by myself. So it was great.