Teletubbies

Today, we were obliged to attend the work retreat planned for us so that we could 'spend some money'.

The money was more like the money collected from somewhere which I have failed to ask where from. All I know is that it was 'work' money and we had to spend it on this retreat. We went to some secluded Home Team NS facility in the middle of who-knows-where but it was somewhere near the highway. That's all I know. lol

Needless to say, it was deemed for failure due to the poor organisation and preparation skills of the appointed officers. No one wanted to be there. In fact, the appointed officers themselves admitted in the beginning of the retreat that they didn't want to be there.

You'd think a retreat would be somewhere nice. Somewhere where people want to go and have some fun with each other. Or at the very least, do something which people wanna do too. The last retreat, they went bowling. Now that sounds like fun. Four games of bowling. That really sounds like something worth doing. But no. None of that even happened.

My OC Ops 'instructed' (that was the exact word used to) me to have my guitar on scene so that I can present a song. Any song. A gospel song even. I immediately resisted. I even requested that I pay the consequences of disobeying instructions prior to the event because I knew that this was not a place where I would wanna play the guitar. Not in front of a whole bunch of strangers too.

We had to report at the police station by 0820hrs. But police officers being police officers, we only started moving at 0915hrs. Boarding on the bus, we made our way to the location and to be honest, at first glance, it really looked nice. I actually thought it was gonna be a nice day.

There was a nice swimming pool which looked too top class for me to swim in. There was a very nice lobby area and there were even recreation rooms. There was also a pool room consisting of what seemed like a room full of countless pool tables stretching into a dark dark end. Down below in the basement, there were 2 Jackpot rooms which clearly stated at the entrance;

No persons under the age of 18 allowed.

To which I blatantly disobeyed at the sight of it.

I mean seriously, people are constantly shocked at the fact that I'm still 17 and not at least 18 yet. If not for the way I speak, then for the way I look. To the average asian, I am considered 'tall'. And also to the average asian, I am considered 'large'. Well, at least larger than the average asian anyway. So I don't see any reason why they would wanna screen me of all people; besides the fact that I tower well over most of them anyway. In most cases, this does come in handy; such as this one.

At first sight, I was immediately uninterested to the 'action' going on in there. The two rooms were filled with electronically operated jackpot machines.

Having experienced a lot of this back in Myanmar, I knew that it was pointless trying to win. It was more meaningful if I jumped on the net and played this exact same thing because I would not be losing anything this way.

The odds of winning in something like this is extremely unlikely because you tend to lose more than you win. On top of which, all this is computer operated which basically means you lose the moment you sit down anyway.

Back in Myanmar when we would visit the arcade each week, our dad would continually remind us that these kinda games are for fun. For amusement only. There wasn't any point trying to win because it will just get you addicted and eventually, lead to many problems. The point of it all was to play for the fun of it and to have a great time.

But one thing that struck me while I was seated in that room was that there was this old lady in there playing as well. Just observing her for those few minutes I was in there, I noticed that she would return to the counter for more coins every few minutes because of these machines. It was clear she didn't have much else in her life. Or at least, something wasn't sitting right with her at home - otherwise she wouldn't be there. Not in the middle of no where at least. The poor thing.

Anyway, when we got there, we were all seated in this not too big meeting/dining room. Two division teams were present. Ours and another. We sat and waited for the program to start.

It promptly started at 10:22am as they began the day with 'random' team presentations. This was where I was 'supposed' to play my guitar.

Picture this: a small dining room, with nearly 50 people in it. Half of which were tired from the night shift they had just done, and the other half not wanting to be there. Now, try adding the elements of a silent room filled with tables topped with edible objects suitable for 'flight'.

Then add this to the picture. A young international-Singaporean boy who hardly knows any 'non-gospel' songs trying to entertain this tough crowd. What in the world would I play? If I attempted any gospel songs, I'd most probably be the only one in the room trying to sing. But if I attempted any non-gospel songs, ... well, they would probably be most appropriately described as 'attempts'. Either way, they were both do or die situations.

Fortunately for me, I saw this coming. Which is why many people were asking me, "where's your guitar?" =D Much to my delight, I would try to look shock with palms facing the sky every time someone would ask me.

Anyway, story was - I was so glad I didn't bring it. It was probably one of the best decisions of my life thus far. Even though I have told myself that I would take some 'adventurous steps' quite some time ago, this step was way too far to be tested. So I resisted taking this step and I'm glad I didn't. XP

Lunch was just as terrible. The 'buffet' was humiliating. It was just a puny table with stacks of fried noodle and rice, followed by one tray of chicken wings and fried squid balls. Then, there were some desserts and a massive drink dispenser. I was not surprised to see so much noodles and rice left over cause it wasn't very impressive at all. I think Chariz could cook way better. Go Chariz! XD hehe

Well, after eating one puny plate, I decided to stop. It wasn't worth my consumption. But as if that wasn't enough, we had to endure more torture.

AFter lunch, the tables and chairs were cleared for 'games'. If you can call them games..

The first game was called "the Longest Chain". I'm pretty sure many of you have played it before but the point of the game is to use as many personal accessories to create the longest accessory chain. Unfortunately for the organisers, personal accessories also included tongs, mobile phone chargers, umbrellas, newspaper articles and human bodies. It was funny at first, but really, it was quite sad. The room was so small they had to make laps in the room just to satisfy their long chains.

But that wasn't the game which threw the entire day off. What was bad was that they expected us dance. They called all the NSF guys from our team and asked us to dance.

"What for!?!?" I really didn't see the point in us dancing. The day was sad in itself and you wanted us to have 'fun' by doing something like this!?

Pleading with us, they said we only had to dance for 30 seconds. At the time, it seemed like they were asking us to dance for 30 hours because everybody was waiting. Staring. Everybody was waiting to see us dance so that we can make complete fools of ourselves in a day like this. They even got one of our female officers to stand in the middle of our li'l circle so that we can dance around her. Yeah, .. right.

Anyway, to cut a long stupid and humiliating story short, we 'danced' for 5 seconds or so before breaking up the scene.

And as if that wasn't enough, what happened to me later on was even worse!

The day was just about to close and they said, "let's finish off with some fun!"

'Right' ... I thought to myself.

"Let's get someone to sing!"

The last thing you want to hear at this point was someone calling out your name. Quite inevitably, someone called out my name! Soon enough, people were trying to get me on stage to sing something.

Someone claimed that because I was a 'gospel singer' (ok...), I can sing. It was like trying to fend off a thousand eyes on me as people would cheer and applause for me to get up there. On top of which, my Station Sergent was already started making his way towards me. He strode purposely all the way from across the room to pull me up and on. When I set eyes on his advancement, I knew this was gonna be bad. That this was a sign of desperation to try to kick in some revival into this already decomposing event.

There was no way I was gonna get up there. I had to see to it that I don't get up there. Even though I had this vague mindset to wanna make things better around sad events like this, this was not gonna be one of them.

He tried to pull me off my seat but I was so glad I had the strength to retaliate. It came to a point where I was nearly off my seat when I had to activate my last resort to finally getting my Station Sergent off me.

A little bit of childish reaction by shouting out, "OH!? You want to sing don't you!? Hey! Zin wants to sing! Quickly! Go up now," did the trick. He immediately backed off before anyone else agreed with me that he was in fact a good candidate for this momentous occasion.

"Hey guys, the earliest we can leave will be 1400hrs. So we'll have to endure just another few more minutes. In the mean time, does anyone want to sing?" Names were suggested, and two others embarrassingly made their way on stage. It was very brave of them to do it because the day was terribly sad in itself. At least they had the guts to do it and that's pretty admirable. At least they didn't chicken out like I did.

What am I saying? I think I was Braveheart with a brain! LoL. I still don't regret not singing. In fact, I think I would have regretted it if I sang. I'll never hear the end of it back at work.

Anyway, we were finally allowed to leave. When asked where is the closest train station, I was surprised to discover that I was quite far away from home. At the very least, I thought they'd have the bus bring us back to the station but no. Police efficiency is such that we were brought out onto the battlefield without any means of escape. No matter how dangerous the war might be. It's either do or die.

Or just taking the train back which was quite far away.

On the bright side, I was able to sleep on the train. The previous night shift, I didn't sleep the entire day. I was awake for 27 hours without sleep. It was the first time I had done something like this and quite honestly, I was quite amazed that I can still be awake after so many hours of work. The trick was to keep moving. If I were seated somewhere for many hours, chances are I'd be in Teletubby Land - just like today ...