Eddie's Million Dollar Cook Off (Part 3)

What happened later that afternoon was what had me in a bundle of nerves for the next two days.

We had to go to the Police Head Quarters to do a psychological test for the OCT posting and I thought it would be something like the first psychological test we all had to take a few months back. This time however, I felt as though I wanted to cry during the test because I had no clue whether what I was putting down was acceptable or not. In other words, I had no idea whether what I was answering was any where near right.

Basically, this was the section I was struggling with.

They issued us several paragraphs with heaps of statements and facts - each of which were different. However, as we read it, we had to suggest the validness of the 4 responses given relating to a statement in regard to the paragraph given. We did that by answering whether they were 'True', 'False' or 'Can't Tell'.

Sounds easy enough. But combine the elements of being timed in a completely silent tiny room with 9 people crowded around one puny circular table and the most confusing paragraphs of facts and you got Boaz crying out "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me!?"

Besides that section, the other 3 sections were personality tests, so I doubt I could get any of those ones wrong - unless I was lying all the way through which wouldn't be true because I have never lied once in my entire life ... not even when I blog.

After that test, which was around 4:40pm, the OC who drove us there and picked us up was innocently persuaded to allow us to stop by KFC to grab something to eat. He had to contemplate his decision to abide because by right, he wasn't allowed to do such a thing. But being angels as we always are, he said to us, "I'll safely assume you guys finished at 5:30pm. Be at the place I drop you guys off by 5:30pm. If you're not there on time, I will no wait!"

So with a big grin on our faces, we went to eat ... and it was good.

5th June, 2007 (Thursday)

My OC told me to report to the Co-ordination office at 9:15am for an OCT interview training.

Just to be brief, what happened in there was that we were briefed on how we were to conduct ourselves if we made it to the final OCT interview that following Monday (9th June). That interview, we would have to go to the Old PA to be interviewed by a bunch of other high ranking officers as well as a psychologist. I guess the psychologist was there to determine how 'true' we were in what we were saying. They told us that she would be looking out for our little body gestures to see if we were confident in whatever we were saying.

Anyway, in that morning interview at 9:15am, only four of us made it. The other two were eliminated because they didn't project themselves well in the first interview. So we were the final 4 left in the run for OCT.

Also during this interview training, we were told that by the end of the day, at 5pm, we would know the results for the psychological test. So that was it, the moment of truth was gonna come. I just had to wait. If I passed the psychological test, I would be in for the final interview on Monday. All I needed to see to was that I had to pass the psychological test.

That evening, around 5pm, we were at the parade square practicing for the POP. I knew that it was somewhere around 5pm because the sun had dropped to a certain angle and it was clear that dusk was coming soon.

Knowing that one of the guys in the OCT selection would get the SMS for the results, I went to him to ask if he had gotten the message.

As I approached, I heard him say to his squad mate, "The three of us got in." And they were giving each other this really shocked and happy look at the same time.

When I came up to ask them what the results were, they glanced at each other before inexpressibly telling me that I didn't make it.

In a state of utter shock, I backed away saying, "Oh ok." Flashing a thumbs up at them.

I went back with my group to form up for our POP rehearsal but there was no doubt that my mind was somewhere else. My mind had dropped into a state of free fall because I had so much faith that I would get through. My trust was in God and when I discovered I was out, I felt terrible!

So many people helped me go through, and so many people had belief that I was gonna go through. Everyone was 101% sure I was gonna surpass all obstacles to go through. Everyone had faith in me.

But! I stuffed up. I stuffed it up bad. People carried me so highly all the way only to allow myself to stuff up the only opportunity I had. And it was because of the psychological test that I did that I mucked it all up. It was awful. Those few minutes after receiving news, I blamed myself completely.

As soon as the rehearsal was over, I needed a few moments by myself. I really had to reflect on what had happened. Why God allowed me to get so caught up in something only to let me be disappointed. I pondered on whether there was a lesson to learn from all this. The only thing that could get me 'active' was to try to look on the positive side of things. So I thought about how everything had been an adventure and how I can benefit from this experience.

And so later that night, I promised the others I would go to the cafe for dinner because they had all been told that everyone who failed the first exam passed the re-test. So trying to hide the disappointment within, I agreed to celebrate with them.

On the way to the cafe, one of the officers instructed us to report for finger print taking. Not having much of a choice, we went, and we all lined up for our turn. As I was standing in line, I remained considerably silent and conservative. That remained till I realised my OC was calling for me as he wanted to speak to me.

It was clear that my OC wanted to tell me that I didn't get in. So before he had a chance to say anything, I immediately told him that I knew. I knew that I was out and I felt awful. Surprised that I knew, he asked how I found out.

After explaining the whole situation he goes, "Do you know why you were dropped?"

"I'm not sure but I think it is because of the psychological test we did. I think I failed that test"

"No, no. It wasn't. You're volunteering for NS now right?"

"Yeah. I'm still 17 now."

"Well, policy states that people Volunteering for Early Enlistment are not allegeable for the Officer course."

"What!? Really!? That's a relief! Because the whole time I thought I failed the test and it was all my fault. So many of you had so much confidence in me and I had to go and stuff it up. And to hear that, that's a relief!" From then on, I felt so much better. To know that it wasn't my fault that I had lost the position was such a great thing to hear.

"No, it wasn't your fault. It's ok. It's a bit sad that you got this far only to be told that you are not allegeable for the course. In a way it was a bit unfair because when I sent in your application for your nomination, they should have done the research to determine if you were allegeable."

"Yeah, it would have been a lot better if they did that. Cause after getting my hopes up, I was a lot more disappointed after getting this far. I felt really bad that I might have failed it myself."

"No, don't worry, it wasn't your fault. So what do you think about all this?"

"Well, it was nice to have so many people supporting me and I'll never forget it. And I guess it has been an adventure to have gotten this far. Thanks a lot sir."

"Well, you better go and break the news to your fellow squad mates, especially those concerned about you."

"Ok sir. Thank you."

With such a relief in my mind, I was able to enjoy the night in the cafe with my friends. Even though I didn't get in, at least it wasn't my fault that I wasn't able to reach the finals.

The night drove on as people offered their sympathies to me and I am grateful for it. To see that so many people believed in me was good enough for me. Not only did my whole squad support me 100%, but all the other officers involved as well, such as my OC, the OC of all the OCs and other high ranking officers. To learn that many people were also shocked to discover this policy was good in a way that I will never forget.

And what happened later that evening at the cafe would be one phone conversation from my OC I would never forget either.

To Be Continued ...