Final Destination

Fine, so obviously I can't keep up with maintaining my blog nowadays. Been just a bit busy and lazy to be honest. But I'll try to update it every now and then, just not as often as I once did.

Why I'm updating now is mainly because of one main reason - I am finally a Police Inspector! =D Or what we are referred to as National Service Probationary Inspectors (NSPIs). After 13 months of slaving away, I have finally hit the ranks of being a full fledged Senior Officer. No longer will I need to wear the common number 3 police uniform. No longer will I need to comply to the order of needing to march around the academy. No longer will I need to greet every walking officer sir. A new sheriff is in town. And that sheriff is me XP

Yesterday was our Passing Out Parade. It was something I wanted ever since I heard I could get into this position and now that it has been done - I still remain focused to complete the next phase of training, the Company Commander (CC) course. That's right. I will be a company commander. What is it? Basically, I will be in charge of a barrack's/company's (coy) admin, logistics, discipline, inspection, etc. On top of which, with my new NSPI rank, I am quite basically a walking god. My rank is so high that the next highest National Service officer below me would be a sergeant or 5 ranks lower than me. It's also very uncommon to have Inspectors roaming the streets of the academy, so to have someone like me hold the rank.... hehehe

Anyway, my next course will be a tough one. I'm expecting one of the worse trainings yet. Even though when I went away to Outward Bound Singapore (OBS) for my 16 day leadership training course at Pulau Ubin 2 weeks back, I still think this CC course will be even tougher. Not to say that the OBS training wasn't tough; in fact, it was extremely tough. Up to this point, it has been the toughest training I have ever gone through. It was intense, extreme and a whole new experience for me. After the whole experience, I have to say that I was at the prime of my physical fitness. Never before have I been so fit. I had muscles and strengths erupting from places I didn't know existed. Truly, it was a great experience to go through this course but I'm grateful it's all over too.

Just for the benefit for the people who don't know what I did, we basically went through 3 different expeditions - land, cutter (sail boat) and sea.

The land expedition was a 4d 3n expedition where we had to locate checkpoints on the island using a map and compass. This required us to backpack our belongings and other essentials like our tents, water, ponchos, etc. around the island in search for these checkpoints. It was not easy at all, especially how we basically walked the entire day through rain and shine. I was bitten by a couple of red-black ants. It was a fascinating experience to be bitten all over my leg, but something I definitely didn't enjoy at the time. Up to this point, I still have the markings of where the ants bit me.

Then of course, there were other things like glazing upon a lake filled quarry. To most the sight was breath-taking and I tend to agree. It was quite a sight and surely most will take it as a once in a life time experience to see such a sight. What I found a bit new for me was how we had to pitch tent and cook our meals in the middle of nowhere. After which, the washing up using whatever beach sand we can find to scrape away the burnt pots and other utensils. Everything we did, we had to do with whatever resources we were given, and quite frankly, it was very uncomfortable to be living without the comfort of our luxury.

After the land exp, we had to embark on a 3d 2n cutter expedition. It wasn't long before I started to get sea sick. The cutter really affected a lot of people on the boat because of how it swayed from one side to another so easily under the impression of the advancing waves. Fortunately for me, I didn't vomit like a Singapore Merlion, but I heard a lot of my friends vomited on the other cutters.

Overall, the cutter expedition was interesting under the fact that I learnt a lot about sailing; how to tie different knots, how the wind affects the sails, how irritating it is to have to anchor up each time you wanna move off. It was fun, but I'm glad it's over =P

Finally, our sea expedition. It involved us kayaking over a distance of 117km in 4d3n. But to cut a long story short, we killed ourselves and covered the distance in 3d2n to make it back in record breaking time. The route was challenging for how we had to cover locations which involved us to push through 'tread milling' areas. One particular area, the Changi Naval Base, the first day, we kayaked for what was nearly 4hrs on the same spot trying to break through the current of the waves from the oceans. It was excruciating because we were so exhausted by the time we reached this Base that we still had to push ourselves without stopping for 4hrs because if we did stop, we would have been drifted back to where we started, leaving all our hardwork to waste. What made us take so long was how everyone had to move together. No one goes too far ahead, no one goes too far behind. So the stronger ones would be up ahead but the weaker ones would start to fall behind. That's why before the stronger ones could actually pass through the area, we would have to wait for the others and thus, sending us back to where we started. It was sooo frustrating to have to go through that because during that time, I didn't think it was going to end. Just seemed too impossible to complete and I thought I wasn't going to make it. That was only the first day, not to mention the next few days. Just seemed too difficult at the time. But now! It's over! And boy am I glad it's over! XP

Well, like I said, it's not like it wasn't hard, but I'm expecting something even more difficult when I go through the CC course. I'm not too sure of what we will be doing, but I am expecting one of the worse. We'll just have to see what will happen. But for now, I will enjoy my freedom as an NSPI and roam the streets of the academy as a walking god. muhahaha!

RoboCop

Yes, well another chapter of my NS story has just crossed over in a blink of an eye ... in the blogging world that is. Whereas in actual reality, it seemed like decades. Time just isn't moving as fast as I want it to move and to me, it seems like time stops every second to catch its breath. Nevertheless, it's still moving, so that's a plus ... I guess.

Last week, we returned from our police station attachment program and I chose to return back to my division where I worked for nearly 4 months. I didn't tell anyone beside one or two so to many, it was a surprise for them to see me. But this time, when we went back, it was an attachment program to the Police HeadQuarters as well as the Neighbourhood Police Centres (NPC) - which meant following a police car to do their rounds around the vicinity and attending to different cases, which was exactly what I wanted to experience as a police officer.

So anyway, we went and to my expectation, the attachment to the HeadQuarters was really boring but the attachment to the NPC was a whole lotta fun. We were able to attend to different cases on the ground rather than having people come to you at the Police Station.

One case that I really enjoyed attending to was one noise pollution case at 3am. The location was this apartment block 9 storeys up and from the moment we arrived at the scene, we could hear the noise from ground level. In my heart I went, "Awesome! This is gonna be great!"

So we went up and found the apartment and started knocking on the door. We knocked and knocked and knocked but no one answered. That was when we started to really knock =P I, for one, was knocking on the window and pressing the door bell till I think the whole neighbourhood could hear. But we definitely knocked and called out loud enough for the lady next door to come out and reveal herself as the person who called the police.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, after a good 20-30mins of knocking, we managed to get the lady who was inside to open the door, turn the volume down and close the door on us. Oh, and she was pretty pissed at us because we intruded into her privacy as we tried to open the window to get her XP It was clear she didn't like what we did to her window hehe

Besides that, there were a whole lotta other little stuff we did during our shift that made it quite enjoyable. Just like how we were able to attend to a case at one of the largest condominiums in Singapore, the Caribbean Club at Keppel Bay. w00t! It was so much fun walking inside as an officer of the law looking cool and stuff ... but it was kinda cramped inside.

With that aside, now I'm back at the Police Academy training again =( We've got a whole lotta exams coming up and I really hope I'll be able to do well. After which, we'll be going to Outward Bound Singapore (OBS) for what should be 16 days of 'fun'. Not sure if I should be ecstatic or freaked out, but either way ... I know it's gonna be 16 days of physical and mental stress. Oh, and just as a word of warning for those who will see me after that - even though I may come out with all sorts of bulging muscles (XP), I have been told that I will look like a really dark Malay too =P Not dark enough to be an Indian, but just a dark enough to be a dark Malay.

If all goes according to plan, I will be gone on the 8th of April till the 24th of April. After which, we will be rehearsing for our POP =D Something I'm just dying to look forward to cause I know, when that comes, the day of all this stressing will almost be over! Then, if I manage to get what I wanna do after, it will be smooth sailing till the end ^^

Oh, and what I wanna do after I POP is to become a Company Commander back at the Police Academy. The current Coy Commanders say that life in the PA is really boring and slack which is exactly what I want cause then I'll have more time to do what I wanna do and not have to do something that I don't wanna do which in the end, prevents me from doing what I wanna do. hehe

And yeah, I know that since this is a public blog, chances are ... some trainees might find this site and have a read of it. For all I know, they may already be doing that because when I'm on duty doing provost, they could have searched me up and discovered my life outside of the PA. How do I know? Simple. Because I do it to my instructors =P But only because my friends told me that they found our instructors friendster account. lol

So to all the trainees out there who might read this, I say this to you. As far as I'm concerned, life at HTA stays in HTA. Never do I or will I bring it out of those walls and into life outside HTA. I do what I have to do because it's what I have to do as part of my national service. But once I'm outside, call me your friend because at the end of the day, we are all still people of this world - nothing more.

Anyway, back to something more joyful - my ORD date! =D

I have done some calculations and to my delight, I have discovered that if everything goes according to plan, I should officially finish my final day of service on the 23rd of Jan, 2009. My original ORD date should be on the 10th of Feb, 2009. But with the 14 days of leave I am entitled to, and with CNY occupying two very convenient slots on the 26th and 27th of Jan (monday and tuesday), I will be able to officially finish on the 23rd of Jan, which is a Friday! ^^ Yay! What are my plans after that? Well, at the moment, I only know I will stay for the CNY bit to do my part XP. That's for sure. When I will go back to Australia, I will have to see. Hopefully not too long because I'm just simply dying to go back!

Anyhow, that's just a quick review of what has been going on here for me. I will try to update again before I head off to OBS at least. Can't promise I will update so often now because it's just getting harder and harder to update as often as I did in the past. But for now, this will have to do.

Rush Hour 3

I think it's pretty obvious that my blog is kinda dying off because I haven't really been able to properly maintain this thing with all the things that have been happening. It doesn't really help how I just discovered that the last time I blogged was over a month ago back in 2007 XP

So righty now, I'm not gonna do a mega blog post to make up for it because I really can't be bothered. This blog post is meant for the few of you who try to check up on me every now and then to see if I'm alive - so this is me saying, "I'm still alive!!!"

A lot has happened since my last blog and I will go crazy if I try to recap everything here. So I'll just try to briefly cover the main things that have and are happening with me now.

Firstly, Amoz is leaving soon =( / =) Yeah, I'm sad and happy at the same time. Sad because I'm losing the company of my only brother for an entire year and I will definitely miss all his weird quirkiness and 'Amoz-ness'. But! It's only for a year so it won't be too bad.

Happy that he's leaving because it means I get the laptop all to myself and I won't have to fight with anyone over it (which means I have to pay the bills myself now...=[ ), and I will ORD very soon - not now, but soon. See, if he were here, it means I still have a 'long' way to go but now that he's leaving/gone, it's a lot closer than if he were here! =D

Nevertheless, I see this year as a year of being active. I plan to occupy myself with a lot of Police and Church because I knew in my heart that this would happen this year and I see it happening already.

Once I pass out of the OCT course, I will definitely be quite occupied at work and whatever comes along. This, I will cover more later when I am nearer to the POP =P

As for church, I'm starting to get more active as I promised. I've started leading the youth worship and hope to get more active with the electric guitars with the main service. One of my goals for this final year is to learn the bass too so we'll see how that goes XP At the moment, not so good, cos honestly speaking, I can hardly remember where the basic bass notes are on the bass =P That'll take time I guess.

Attended two of my cousin's wedding over the past month and I guess it was nice to see our cousins tie the knot. But with each wedding, the remaining cousins who are still single/temporarily attached will usually start listing the next possible candidates for the next wedding and needless to say, the line is getting shorter and shorter and coming towards me. But whoa! I'm still 18! There's nothing to worry about. I've got time XP Relax Boaz.

Lately, I've stepped up and out of my comfort zone a lot more and tried a bunch of different stuff that I wouldn't have imagined I could do now. One of which was becoming the emcee for our senior bar social night where we celebrated our promotion to senior cadets. I never would have imagined doing something like this before coming here but I guess as officer cadets, these kinda opportunities will come around and hey, it's a good experience too. I took up the challenge and glad to say, it didn't go as badly in reality as it did in my head. Sure, it was difficult trying to get people to volunteer but it's over now and looking back, I'm glad I did it. It was interesting and kinda enjoyed myself making a fool of myself on stage.

Oh! And just last Saturday, I decided to go shopping. Yes, that's right. I went shopping. Alone. A surprise to me too. But wait! Just because I went alone, doesn't mean I 'shopped'. Oh no. When I say shop, and when I say alone, I meant I went shopping alone ... with a purpose. A goal. A target. I went shopping to buy an iPod speaker. I wanted one because it was really getting quite quiet and lonely in my room and thought it was irritating having to wear earphones all over my room and when I saw my friend with an iPod speaker, I thought it would be nice to have one in my quiet old room.

So with my determined desire to get an iPod speaker, I went to Bugis Junction. For people who know where that is, you know what I'm gonna be talking about. It was TORTURE for me!

I am someone who doesn't like to window shop alone. If I do shop alone, I go with a purpose. So I had no time to waste around there. But you add the elements of ..

Boaz + purpose + time limit + people + more people + and even more people + small walking space = psychotic anxious Boaz begging God to allow him to find the iPod speaker because he doesn't want to come back again. And that was it really. I went CRAZY trying to look for it. People were stopping in the middle of the small walk path and that really made me go 'seow' (insane). It didn't help how it was so hot and humid so I was really desperate to find it and get out of there.

Thank God, I found it with time to spare and decided that I deserved a reward for shopping, finding it, sweating in a shopping junction and utilizing my effective yet innocent Puss-n-boots bargaining skills by begging the uncle to give me a $3 discount (to which I felt guilty for doing after winning =D). That's when I got myself a cup of Bubble tea ^^ Yum!

I'll end with this; another story from that 1hr of torture at Bugis Junction.

When I was looking for my iPod speaker, I was frantically trying to get out of the clothing section because none of it looks anything like an iPod speaker. While doing so, I came towards the end of the line and noticed this Caucasian flipping through a display of soccer jerseys. Upon spotting that, I remembered I promised myself I would get a Liverpool jersey this season because I liked the design of the jersey this season. So I made my way there and after the Caucasian made this purchase of a jersey, I made it obvious that I was interested in getting one too. The sales person was quick to ask what I wanted.

Immediately, I showed him the Liverpool one and asked him what size would fit me.

"For you, medium. Medium." I pulled it out and gave it to him.

"Ok. How much is one?" I asked him

"We're having an offer. $30. Chinese new year offer. Usual price $35. Confirm direct rejects from original jerseys"

"Wah, $30. Can give me better price?"

"It's on offer. Chinese new year offer. $30"

"Yeah, but maybe you can give me a better price?"

"Hey! Understand english? I don't have time." He gave me this smile which I read as insulting and something that read along the lines of, 'I don't need your money'. If he was going to give me this kinda attitude, there's no point if I bought anything from him. So I turned and walked away. hehe, it was interesting though. I've never been turned away like that before. How fun! =D

- Oh, and I realised that coming here, there wasn't any point in talking like how I would if I were back in Australia because as I told my friend, it's so much easier if I talked like a Singaporean than how I would normally speak here XP It's a lot easier and clearer for my friends and to save time from having to repeat, I talk like one of them now. Not that I want to but because I 'have' to =P No offence to any Singaporean who reads this, but this is what I'm kinda doing now. I thought that if I could talk like how I would normally speak, it would be 'ok'. But I've realised, it's a lot easier if I didn't .. so yeah, that's how I speak now whenever I'm in Singapore talking with some of the locals (even though I'm a local too =S ).

The Prince of Egypt

Luke 6

27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you. 32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them.

33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full.

35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I was going to type up a blog entry based on my working-progress experience obeying this scripture but as I typed on, I found that my questions to the agony of the lack of recognition of appreciation was simply answered in the very scripture that I wanted to quote.

So instead of my usual abortion of a blog entry, I've decided that I would like to share, with whoever reads this, my current mindset as I attempt to obey the scriptures as I put it into practice.

Ever since I started NS, I've based a lot of my thinking and mindset according to how God instructs us in the Bible, and to little surprise, they were to my success. Of course all glory and honour belongs to our Lord but I am just so fortunate that I have a God who chose me to give me the instruction book to life.

And as much as it sucks to follow it at times, the rewards of having to endure such hardships are always worth it. So I'm putting my trust in what God has promised and will continue to love all regardless of what they have done to me. However, during the past coming days, I've noticed that there have been more and more recent multiple occasions when I am not 'repaid' for my relentless efforts to show the love that God has transplanted into my heart. And to be honest, I was really getting frustrated with it all because I am still human. I wanted recognition. I wanted to be repaid for my efforts. At least a simple thank you would do. But there was none of that. Worse still. It was as if they didn't realise that I was doing it.

But all that is behind me now. I don't care whether people repay the efforts I put in. All I care is that God sees what I'm doing and that in due time, my reward will be given from God.

The reason why I've said all this was to hopefully encourage those of you who are walking my same path, or even those of you who haven't started yet, to keep persevering. Don't give up. Never give up. Cause at the end of the day, everything will be made right by God.

When I first went into the Police Academy for the first time in April, I lived upon a couple of Bible verses. But these two really stood out to help me through.

Luke 9:48
Then he said to them, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest."

Being the youngest in probably the whole of the Police Academy, I realised that greatness was possible. All I had to do was lower myself to be the least among the rest and I would stand out and be the best. And at the end, it happened! The key element was humility. I took the time to see to it that everyone in my squad was ok and would talk to them every now and them. Even if it was just a simple hello and a short chat. At least that kept me on par with everyone else and as I did, I made sure I didn't develop a big head. I think at the end, everyone basically supported me to get into the OCT course and it was really touching because comments were made when I was in for the running for the course. My good friend Raimy told me one day that he and the rest of the squad will revolt if I didn't get into the course. lol, thanks guys.

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

My desire was to get into the OCT course. I don't think I need to say much about this other than a lot of effort was put in. This was one of the few handful of verses I kept on my heart throughout the duration of the training and sure enough, it was helpful for me as I received the desires of my heart. =)

And when I moved on to the police station, God had another scripture for me to carry - the one above. I've been trying as much as I can to put it into practice and boy is it hard. It took a lot of effort to see to it that the payment for my efforts were not rewarded. I kept doing things to show the love again and again, hoping that people would see that there was something different about me. Being the only christian I know in the station, I had to stand out from the rest, and I believe I've done that.

Yesterday at work, I was really touched by the words that were mentioned from the regular officers. One particular officer told me that they will miss me. And really, even those few words made everything worth it. At least it told me that I was not going unnoticed. And they were nice. I understand why I've faced some troubles working with them due to my 'different' character and speech - it's because the life of a policeman can be really really boring. I'm not talking about the experiences that policeman faces time after time, but rather the repetitiveness of it all. Some of these guys have been in there for 20 years. Imagine the things they encounter day after day during their work. After a while, it can get a little stale, as do a lot of other jobs. Which is why after a long time, someone like me rocks up and they are suddenly having a lot of fun. Of course there were times when I would question why they were saying the things they were saying to me, but now, I understand. It's like a breath of fresh air to them. At least if I can give them that bit of spice in their police life for that short while, that'll do.

And if I thought the appreciation doesn't end there, during the beginning of my shift last night, I was bombarded with invitations to stay on and not return to the Police Academy for my officer course. It was actually quite nice to know that these people felt this way. I couldn't help but laugh it off and hope they weren't serious. There were even threats that they would tell one of the Heads to block my move back to the PA. How funny.

My next tour (day and night shift) will be my last. I have no idea what they might possibly do to me but I know for sure that I will miss working there. The friends that I've made. The laughs we've had. The funny moments when we would make fun of accused will all be but memories. I really had a good time working there actually. The working hours were crap but the moments were gold.

Coming out to division life was a good move. It gave me exposure and I reckon more trainees should be doing this. When I go back, I will definitely have a greater understanding of the police system and will probably have a greater advantage when it comes to studying later on for the exams.

Anyway, I'm glad for how my NS life has turned out and is turning out so far. I will have experienced so many things that only a small handful will ever get to experience. I've realised that at the end of my NS, I will have a large wardrobe of different police uniforms. Maybe one day, when I accumulate all my different uniforms, I will post them up so you guys can have a look =) At the end of the day, I should have four different types of police uniform. XP All different from the rest.

For now, the end of this chapter of my NS life is coming to a close and another one will soon re-open. Hopefully I will find the time to blog when I come out from there each weekend. But I don't think it will be a problem. So to all my friends in Delta division who might read this, it's been an honour serving NS with you guys. All the best and I will hopefully see you guys again!

Band of Brothers

Argh, I've gotta blog. I've gotta blog.

I was telling Tiffany just a few moments ago about how I have to get to the 'determine whether to blog or not' stage before getting to the point where I decide to blog. But somehow, I've managed to skip that stage and just went straight into blogging. Why? I'm not quite sure why.

I've been meaning to blog, but after putting it off for so long, I don't really feel like blogging.. Something's gotten into me these past few weeks that made me feel and think differently from what I've been used to.

I think it's cause I haven't been able to get my way these few weeks that I've gotten a bit agitated with the smallest things that I don't usually get agitated about. Like what happened yesterday after my night shift. It was a Sunday morning and I was taking the morning bus back to my grandmother's place. As I boarded, I realised that I was practically the only one on the bus. That made me think that I was gonna get back earlier than expected because it's a Sunday morning and people won't be out too early, so we should zoom right pass all the bus stops and arrive sooner.

However, that wasn't really the case. Just because there weren't anyone at the bus stops, and just because there wasn't anyone who wanted to get off at each bus stop, the bus driver had to 'make sure' no one was coming, and would slow down till the very last moment when the bus was just about to come to a complete stop at each bus stop to decide that no one was really coming. That really irritated me. I was on the verge of going into a state of rage that morning but thought to myself, what has become of me? Why am I getting so ticked off like this so easily? I've gotten irritated so easily about such a non-life threatening ordeal. Something's happened.

I've also noticed that since going into the police world of division life, I've become some what less mature and more playful. Reason being, that's the level I find myself communicating best with the people there. No offence to any of my fellow officers who may read this, but the majority of the people there have sunk to a whole new level of lifelessness and because of this, there is hardly any one there who is willing to have a good meaningful conversation about things that are worth talking about. It's become this new routine of mine to endure whatever childish acts that they enjoy playing in the police station which would sometimes mean making fun of an accused with a helium-like-voice or laughing at a robber who is scared of a cockroach.

I may be digging my own grave if someone from the station reads this but there are 40 year old men in there who have the exact same personality and characteristic of a 12 year old child. Heck, even our station sergeant would play pranks with our fellow NS security officers. He'd call them on the phone to come to the charge office because he has something 'important' to show them. Upon arrival, he would eventually be caught hiding in one of the rooms at the back while posing in a squatting-like position giggling at them. Oh and he wouldn't do this just once or twice? Oh no. There were multiple occasions when he would play such pranks. And I've heard that it started long ago, so this wasn't something new.

This is just one of the few sad cases that I've heard about. I'm sure there's more, but I haven't unearthed them just yet. But just looking at the situation they're in. Or, the situation I'm currently in, I won't have to look far for a sad story. I mean working two days, one in the morning and one at night, then getting two days off, where's the sanity of having a purpose filled life in that? It's barely possible to wanna plan something the following week because of the irregularity of the system. And even if you wanted to take leave, and you get it approved, it just takes one joker to take MC, and there goes your whole plan of travelling overseas. I've been called back twice, and I have barely been here three months. That just shows you how miserable things can get.

Well, one thing leads to another, and by the end of it all, it's a sad life you'll be living. I guess the only thing that keeps us NS men sane is the fact that'll all end in less than 2 years - some more than others. If I compare the life and the sanity of the NS men with the regulars, it's clear to see the difference of a more meaningful person with a person who's trapped till retirement.

That's the thing. With almost all of the police officers there, there's no where else to go. Most of them are trapped in there with no other possibilities of starting a career else where. Mainly because they didn't have a choice due to the lack of education and had to join the police force for some sort of income. And because of the lack of education, they don't have anywhere else to go. That is the most common reason for all the regulars I've talked to who wanted to get out but couldn't. There's no where to go.

They're all telling us to no join. Do not sign on. It's like the souls who have already chosen their life in eternity by not following Jesus and have gone straight to hell, shouting at the souls who still have a chance to take the path of a christian. But some of us are just too stubborn. Some of us are just too blind. By the time we realise, it's too late, and we're stuck with no where else to go. I'm so glad I'm not stuck.

There is something about the people here that strikes me as amazing. I haven't really encountered anything of the sort during my years of travelling and to see this, in Singapore of all places, I've been touched and realised what I've been missing out.

Brotherhood.

Basically, there are two things that people do around here that make the 'brotherhood' around here such a nice place to live in. One, most guys call each other 'brother' or 'bro'. I haven't really encountered that many people calling each other or strangers by that title. And it's really nice actually. If you don't know what to call someone, just call them brother. If you don't know their name, just call them brother. Lol, that's how useful it is. And it's nice as well. Imagine the situation for yourself cause I really can't be bothered setting a scenario. lol

The other thing that makes the brotherhood here so much more visible is how everyone waits for one another. Or if someone wants to go to the toilet, we'd go together. I failed to realise this when I first came here, and when my friends asked me, I'd reply my usual and give them an honest answer like, "Nah, I'm good." That's how I did it in the past! I'd say if I wanted to go or not because there wasn't any point in me going if I didn't need to go. But now, it's different. Even if I didn't wanna go, I'll go. Just for company. And it's nice. I'd now ask my friend if he'd wanna go for breakfast and stuff, and I notice he'll usually answer positively and we'd co-ordinate it such that we'll be at the canteen together. It even went to the extent of climbing 4 storeys just to wait for our friends to change clothes before heading off together. I was kinda reluctant to go up that time because some of us could have gone home straight, but that just shows how far brotherhood goes around here.

Well, I can't be bothered with anymore blogging now. I hope that's enough to show that I'm still alive and well .... or something like that.

In exactly 2 weeks time, I will be in the Police Academy again, so expect at least one more blog post before then. And when I come out from there, after my first week of confinement, expect another blog update. Hopefully I'll come bearing good news. In the mean time, my days of division life are numbered. =D =(

Little NIcky

After nine months, I've suddenly realised where I am.

After nine months, I've suddenly realised what it's all about.

After nine months, I've suddenly realised that this is it.

After nine months, I've suddenly remembered that Singapore is near the equator.

For the first time in nine months, I've realised that Singapore is hot! Maybe some part of it has to do with the Tom Yum fried rice I had for dinner just a few hours ago which somehow seems to be burning a sensational hole through my stomach. But still, at 11pm, if I'm feeling warm, somethings not right. That's right, it was hot today. For the first time, it was hot!

Actually, I was 'fortunate' enough to be working today because it was hot! Every time I stepped out of the room, I'd be like, "Is it hot out?" Then, after prowling for a few seconds, those thoughts would be out the door as I returned back into the air-conditioned lock-up office XP

One of the accused actually complained to me today that it was warm. Thoughtlessly, but more so uninterestedly, I simply told him to remove his shirt and take a shower. After all, what did you want me to do for you? Order some ice cream and have it delivered to you? Or better still, have the contractors to enter lock-up and have air conditioners installed for each cell. Yeah, in your dreams dude.

Anyway, having the luxury of two mega air conditioners in our small lock-up office, I really didn't think much of the accused as I remained in this wonderful office. To be honest, I can't remember anything else he asked me today because my mind would be unconsciously determined to return back to the room, just to get out of the heat of the lock-up area. But now, after thinking about how warm the day was, I kinda feel bad for the fella. hehehe

Yeah well, as many of you have noticed, I've been a bit reluctant to post. Mainly because there really isn't much to post about. My life now basically lives under the continual cycle of a four day work week, and unless you understand the working conditions, there's no point in me blogging about work here cause it's just boring. Well, to me at least. But it just goes by so quickly, I dunno where time actually goes. Well, actually, I'm lying. I do know where they go. It'd be going into work and sleep.

Seriously, that's where my time is really going nowadays. I'm working 12 hours, so that's like half the day gone. When I am home, the other 3/4 of the remaining day is usually used as sleep, so quite frankly, I have 1/4 of the remaining day to ... 'relax'.

And just the other day, after I had finished my night shift, I decided to not sleep till the evening of my first day off. So when I came back around 9:30am, I mucked around until 6pm before I crashed into bed ... not waking up till 7:30am the next morning. I can only recall 3 times when I woke up during those hours of sweet sleep. One around evening time, one in the middle of the night and another sometime after 6am because I noted how the foldable bed that Amoz sleeps on was already in the room. But the sky was still dark and that prompted me to continue my already 12 hour sleep-athon.

See how I use my time?

You can imagine the hours from 9:30am till 6pm, I was pretty much sore to the bone, yet I persisted on staying up. Just so I could 'enjoy' those 13.5hrs of slumber. Actually, this was the first time I've actually slept for more than 12 hours. Never can I recall a day where I've woken up to the realisation that I've slept for more than 12 hours. It's just never happened before. I just can't on a normal day. So for me to sleep for more than 12 hours, it just speaks volume. Moi tired.

Well, it's not like I haven't been going through any of life's lessons during this time. In fact, I've learnt a bit more of myself during my time at work too; with colleagues and all. And the one main thing I've learnt during this time is that, 'the weaknesses of who I am are what defines me'.

I am less than perfect. I am no where anywhere perfect. But for the imperfectness of who I am are what makes me wanna be a better person towards others. I know that there are times when people make mistakes, and I'll tell you there were plenty of times when I made mistakes too. Most of the time, it was due to my forgetfulness or carelessness. And from this, I've understood how to empathise with others when they make these mistakes too.

A lot of times, I try to see things according to how I want people to treat me. So I figured that if I wanted people to be nice to me, why not I be nice to them too? Cause after all, it's only nice when people are nice to you =)

So from this, I've realised that if someone were to be nearly as forgetful and/or careless as me (which would be humanly impossible), I know what it would be like if people would not be so critical towards them and just tried to help them along instead of just pin pointing the person. That's why I've figured, because of the weaknesses that I possess, it only makes me more empathic for others when they undergo any similar kind of humiliation of making mistakes. Which is where I try to help them sort it out instead of making life even more miserable for them by up-roaring the whole saga.

Yet still, I'm sure there are still plenty of areas of my life that still needs some 'straightening', but it's gonna take time and lots of humiliation like what I've been going through these past few weeks. Actually, all that's happened to me during the course of my stay at the police station has only brought me back to earth about my human status. Cause after winning a number of awards during the training days, I guess my head got pretty big and needed a bit of deflating. Guess this did the trick XP

Anywho, I shall leave it short tonight because I'm running out of things to write about and if I keep blabbing, it would be pretty much non-sense; not that everything prior to this hasn't been anything of the sort. hehe

Oh yes, and I'm still alive.

Death To Smoochy

I basically spent the whole morning and afternoon in bed making up for the hours of sleep that I lost during the night shift last night.

But as a result, I have now become a nocturnal mammal.

Seriously though, these night shifts really stuff up your 'bio-clock'. Times when you're meant to be sleeping, you're awake. And times when you're meant to be asleep, you're awake. I reckon I could move to the US about now and not suffer from jet lag.
Sure, I could try to do what I've been doing and try to 'save' my sleepiness for the night so I could sleep for 12 hours or so by turning in early. But what does that do? It leaves my head spinning in the morning because of the lack of sleep.

You see, calculating the hours of sleep, the afternoon before the night shift, I'd try to get some sleep - maybe an hour or two. Then, as I rock up for the night shift, I'd lose 7 hours of sleep, because I'd try get at least 9hrs of sleep.

Coming back at around 9am after my shift, I'd sleep for 6 hours till 3pm. But hey! My body is thinking I've only slept for 6 hours and not 9! So I'm still missing those 3 extra hours. And it's because of that that I'd still be groggy.

That's when I'm faced with two choices. Sleep some more till 6pm where I'd have made up those hours lost the previous night, leaving me pretty much nocturnal for the right of the night, or stay awake and endure fatigue till evening. Unfortunately for me, I've tried the second option many times and each time, I end up feeling really awful in the morning. The last time I tried it, my head was spinning the moment I woke up. It lasted till that night when I finally slept at the correct time again.

However, this time! I've decided to test out option number one. I've slept till 6pm but I had a 3 hour interval from 12pm because I was awoken to the sound of noisy relatives outside. I can recall someone, who I believe was my nephew, banging on some sort of metal object. It sounded something like a pot of some sort. But for those who know me, I don't usually wake up all that easily. Not even if you're blasting music in the same room, I'd still sleep soundly.

But somehow, the volume created this afternoon was amazingly sufficient to wake me up from my deep slumber.

Anyway, it's not that I'm complaining. All I'm saying is that, now, I've turned nocturnal and I'm free to blog! LoL. Yeah. All that blabbing I did above was just so that I could say that I am now free to blog. hehe


Sarah has given me some additional inspiration to blog a bit more about my life in the Police Division. And so now thanks to her, I now have something I know I can blog about! lol

During our previous night shift, we had 3 cases of '32's come in. The term '32' relates to people of unsound mind. Insane. Mentally blank. Idiot. Stupid. Ok, maybe stupid is a bit far, but you get the idea.

From the look of them all, the last 32 that was brought in was the youngest. Probably around his late teens to early twenties. He was like completely oblivious to what was going on. When we were trying to bring him into the Temporary Holding Bay, he resisted said to the officer, "I don't want to die."

The officer bringing him in said, "What? Aiyah, you won't die. Just sit in there. C'mon." Yet, he still refused to move. They were motionless for another few seconds before they told him to remove his glasses as well. But being a 32 and all, it seemed as though nothing was going into his head. He had this really blank look; as if we spoke some alien language and he didn't know we were talking to him.

After finally handcuffing him inside, he sat quietly for a while. Few minutes passed till, one of the officer saw that he was standing towards the corner of the THB and looked as though he was gonna urinate in the corner. It would be very frustrating if he actually did because it would mean cleaning up and at 4-5am, which cleaner would be awake and on duty during those hours? None of course. So it would mean we would have to do it.

But that was not the highlight of the night. The highlight of the night was when one of the 32 went completely bonkers. Fun for me cause I was the first one to spot him acting funny.

Being handcuffed to a metal railing behind the seats, he suddenly stood up, turned around, and started to kick the railing. He repetitively kicked the railing till his end of the railing was actually out of its socket. I actually didn't notice it till I heard all that banging. I looked at the THB and saw him hacking at it with his foot.

I leaped off my seat and shouted at the guy, "Oi! Hey!" banging against the glass window I shouted until I eventually caught his attention, "Oi! What are you doing!?" I purposely pointed my finger at him as I gave him this pissed off aggressive look to intimidate the fella. I'm not sure if he took to it because he too stared back at me, as though he was the boss. After another few seconds of staring, he turned back again and started to kick the railing again. I shouted even louder, "HEY!" By then, all the officers in the vicinity came to the scene and confronted the guy. The 32 turned around again and stared at me again and I stared back. I wasn't worried because I was still behind the glass but the other female accused who was brought in was like a bit panicky and was like giving me this 'What should I do?' look. I briefly directed her to follow the female officer, pointing the female accused to the corner as I continued my stare down with this 32. The regular at the scene asked me to retrieve the other regulars who had just left a few moments ago as my friend, who was equipped with a T-Baton, confronted the guy, speaking in Hokkien.

It wasn't long till I returned back to the scene with my friend at the mouth of the entrance of the THB. He tried to ask what in the world the guy was trying to do, and he told me that all he was speaking was gibberish. All he could pick out was that the 32 said a chinese idiom. It was something like, "Blood will flow like rivers."


Actually, at the time when I heard about it, it really didn't seem like anything. To be frank, we don't take anything the accused say during their stay in our custody seriously. Most of them are nut case and some just insane.

But after typing it back here; after quoting, "I don't want to die," and, "blood will flow like rivers." It does sound a bit freaky. Doesn't it? Well, to me it does; especially when I'm the one encountering stuff like this. lol


Well, those are most of the interesting situations I have had to face during the few shifts that I have been doing. It's really interesting to be in this industry. You see a whole lot of things that people normally wouldn't get to see. I'm sure if I didn't get in there, I wouldn't have seen some of the things I have seen to date and of course, there will always be plenty more I won't get to see, or at least don't hope to see. For example, my friend was dispatched to a multi-storey suicide case on his first day as a neighbourhood police officer. How freaky is that!? I've seen pics of people dying like that and it really ain't pretty. Cases where people hang themselves too. It can be really messy when the police find them.

Anyway, I won't go into too much detail. I can hardly stand the sight of it. That's why I'm not into anything medical. The last job I'll probably wanna get would be to become a coroner. Eeek!


If there's one thing I've learnt so far, it would be this. I've realised just recently that I will not like to use a squat toilet to poo. The old man who was under our safe custody showed me all the 'disgustingness' of pooing in a squat toilet and I won't like it at all. haha

Nah, but in all seriousness, this whole Police experience has really given me something to think about. After seeing all these sad cases of people dying and going insane and people doing illegal stuff, it makes me really grateful for what I have. For who I know. For who I am. I would be shattered if I were to see any of the things that I've seen so far happen to people I know. Takes the perspective of life to a whole new dimension. Let's just hope none of you will be victims of what I've witnessed so far..

The Rundown

When I was a kid, I thought police officers were really scary people.

The intimidating all blue uniform with those guns, handcuffs, T-baton, to a kid, I didn't know they were the good people. I always thought that these police officers would arrest me if I did something naughty. So that's why I was scared of them. And that's why I wanted to become a the bad guy with the gun who shoots innocent people because I thought they were the good cool people.

But now, after becoming a police officer myself, I know that all that is a load of ... ... rubbish.

Police officers are cool man! In fact, we rock!

We've got the best uniform there is. And the best thing is, is that kids are scared of us! whooO!

Ok, fine. That was unnecessary. But really though. In our police uniform, there's a great sense of dominance and superiority when it comes to dealing with civilians.

In the charge office (where they process all the people arrested under our custody), there would be a good handful of people who come through there everyday. And when we escort accused anywhere, there'd always be a clear indication that we as policeman are a lot more cool than the accused in them civilian clothing because the uniform tells them who's boss. Sure, there are cases where the accused would retaliate and completely humiliate the police officer in a fist fight, but we won't go into that.

The point is, I love how I am the police officer in uniform and how the accused is the, so called 'bad guy'. hehe

And what makes it all so much more cool is when we holster all the equipments onto our belts. It makes us look even more intimidating with all these wonderful contraptions which people don't know how to use.

Fine, I also don't know how to use some of them, but that's beside the point.

When I went in for my 3rd shift yesterday, I have to admit that I really wasn't all that 'excited' about going in. I couldn't sleep properly because I knew that the hour was coming for me to get up from bed and prepare myself for a tiresome 12 hours in the Police HQ. It was really hard trying to be positive about where I had to do my shifts because it isn't really pleasant to do what I have to do in there. I tried to look at all the 'possible' things that could be great about this job but really, there wasn't.

It's even worse than a normal person's working life. At least in the office you'd stay in there for like what? 9 hours? Give or take. And of course during that time, you can do whatever you want, as long as you complete your work.

Like for example, one could take multiple toilet breaks by drinking heaps of water. And even if you had to drink water, you'd have to walk somewhere to get it so you could kill even more time by walking from the computer to the water tap. Of course, this is just a suggestion. Not that ... I've done any of that ...

Anyway, with this 12 hr shift, there isn't really a time where you can 'relax'. Everyone has gotta be on their toes. If something goes wrong with the accused, we could all pay the price. That's why this is such a dangerous posting. And to make up for all the dangerous possibilities that could take place in there, they're giving us another $100 for 'risk allowances'. Just so that if anyone asks, the government could always say that they paid us extra money for whatever danger we were put through. Quite convenient I'd say.

I realised how dangerous this job really is when I had to do the night shift last Thursday night. I was the only officer in charge of the lock up and there were 3 guys in the cell. Having that in mind, how does this picture sound?

A 17 year old NSmen looking after 5 accused who were going to be charged in court, alone in a police division lock up with no one around. The closest officers who could reach me to save me if my life was at stake would be some 20 metres away behind 2 metal security doors that would take approximately 30-40 seconds to pass through, provided you were really quick enough to make your way through. I'd say that in 30-40 seconds, I could take down 10 wrestlers with a revolver and possibly a drunken diva ....

..... with my T-baton.

I mean, seriously. Don't you think that this situation could turn nasty? This is only 5 accused. Imagine a whole lock-up filled with people and there's only one or even two police officers in there. And now, imagine if those one police officer was an NSmen. And now, imagine if that NSmen was me. Don't you think it's just a little bit dangerous?

But what's the most we can do? Nothing really. All I'm doing about it is complaining about it on my blog and whoever else comes into my path, but that's about it. Being NSmen, there really isn't much point complaining because whatever you get, you just do. Whether you do a good job of it or not, that's a different story.

The NS guys in there told me, "Whenever someone gives you a job, just say yes. End of story."

One time, my friend said yes and never actually did anything about it. As a result, he got canned big time. Not too sure if I want that happening to me any time soon. Especially when I want to get out of there without much of a record. Notice that I said 'without much' ;P

Anyway, there's a time to complain, and there's a time to do work. I really wasn't all too happy about the whole situation but what could I do? I really didn't know.

That was until some people came to me and gave me some advice I was deprived of hearing - 'Do it for God'. I had completely forgotten that. Really, I had.

I had taken the entire situation into my hands and wondered, 'What can I do?', 'How can I do this?', 'What's the point of me doing this?' Until I heard those few words, I was completely caught in my own self centred world where everything was about me and not about God.

You'd be amazed by how quickly everything becomes so much brighter when God becomes the centre focus. Do it all for God and amazing things will come forth.

But of course I'm not here to be some lecturer about the greatness of God. I'm just trying to say that God was really the turning point in all this. He always has and always will be.

And with this, I went in with a more excited heart to work for God and it was so much better. Yesterday, I was put into the Filer section where I do most of the paperwork filing, and as long as I did it for God, it was all ok. I worked hard, and played hard. Most of the time, I'd end up with nothing else to do because I had finished all the filing work and no one was out in our area causing too much trouble to file any police reports. But then of course, it was a Sunday morning/arvo. People were still in their beds creating who knows how many 'la-la' lands.

So tonight, I must try. Tonight, I'm back in the lock up section where I have to stay awake for the entire night. Let's see how things turn out this time as I venture in a lot more prepared; unlike last time when I went in with nothing but my iPod and a mini What On Earth Am I Here For? book by Rick Warren. That night went by like a snail on a treadmill.

Anyway, if you see me blogging in the next few days, it means I am in the mood to blog and not too tired by the fact that the Singapore National Day is coming up and we as policeman are activated. I really don't hope I have to go but I believe the odds are against me.

Eddie's Million Dollar Cook Off (Part 4)

"Boaz, please report to syndicate room 37 at 9:15am. I think it's the same room that you went to when you did the OCT interview."

"Yeah, it's the same room. What's this for?"

"It's an interview for the PNS (Police National Service) award."

"The PNS award!? Whoa, really!?"

"Yeah, it's for the best in the whole intake award."

"Wow! Haha, that's really good news! Thank you sir!"

When I received that phone call, I was so much more happy - even after hearing that the reason that I was dropped from the OCT selection was something out of my control. After that, I was even more cheerful. Now there was something else to be happy about. That interview for the best in the intake took over my desire for OCT. I basically converted all excited of getting into the OCT selection to the PNS award. And just to think that I could get that award was enough to keep me going but this time, I was careful not to get too excited because I don't want the same kinda disappointment I experienced when I discovered I was dropped from the OCT selection.

After returning back to the bunk, it was really funny how people still came to offer me their sympathies to me for not getting into OCT. Ok ok, I guess it's not 'funny'. But it was nice to see all these random people coming up to me and asking if I was ok or not. Unaware of the fact that I had already moved on with the thought of the PNS award in my mind. =P

6th July, 2007 (Friday)

We had POP rehearsal that morning at 9am. With the interview at 9:15am, I informed the FI conducting the rehearsal and having no other choice, he allowed me to go off in the midst of the rehearsal.

I marched back to the barrack to get changed and off I went to the Syndicate room.

The last few times I had to go to the room, no one was inside, so I assume there wouldn't be anyone in it this time. But I played it safe and knocked first before opening the door.

*Knock knock* After knocking, I slid the door open and there in that puny room were 6 officers, all of which were high ranking officers; including the OCs of all OCs - let's call him OC K

They all turned to look at me and they were all stunned as was I. I didn't know what to say, and I'm guessing they didn't either. But being the 'intruder', I had better say something, especially when I'm the trainee and they're the police officers.

"Errr ... I think I'm a bit early ... so err... I'll wait outside."

Shocked and not sure of what to say, OC K responded with half broken sentences which clearly indicated that he had no clue what to say either.

In total embarrassment, I quickly made my exit, apologising in the process.

'What a way to start my run for the PNS award huh? ' I thought to myself, 'Won't it be hilarious if I won the award now? The guy who walks into a 'probably top secret meeting' ironically wins the best trainee in the intake award. Oh yes, I've got a good chance now.'

I stood in the end of the corridor, totally embarrassed by what had happened. When OC K came out, I immediately stood in attention and saluted him, apologising again for what had happened. He assured me that it was ok and asked me to walk with him as he wanted to speak to me about what had happened with the OCT selection.

From memory, I think he said, "Has OC 'H' spoken to you yet?"

"No, but my OC talked to me about it. It's ok."

"Well, we didn't know about the situation and should have let you know earlier. But now, it's ok. Everything is ok."

"Yeah, it's ok." And he walked off into the Co-ordination office.

After waiting outside for a few seconds, the door opened again and he saw me. He turned around once more and asked the guys inside, "What do you want to do with the PNS candidates?"

"You can just ask them to come in." With that, he directed me to go on in to the air-conditioned office and it was good. =D

I waited in there, and in time, the other 4 candidates for the PNS award came in.

In time, as we got ready for the interview, we lined up outside the room and as we waited, my OC who was gonna be seated in the interview came up to me and said, "Boaz, I have another piece of good news for you. Can you take a guess?" I couldn't really muster any 'good news' that I could think of at that time because my mind was pretty much beat.

"Nope."

"You have been retained for the OCT selection. So welcome back." As he said this, one of the guys who was one of the original six in the run for OCT shook my hand, congratulating me. In complete shock, I instinctively shook his hand with this blur look on my face. I mean, I had moved on from OCT. When I woke up that morning, I had moved on. I was living life post-OCT and now that I was back in, I had no clue as to what to think. My focus was on OCT the day before, but when I lost it, everything I had hoped as an OCT dropped into a deep dark pit. And so after hearing that I was back in, I didn't exactly know how to react.

"Sir, what happened?"

"Well, they searched the black and white (law books) and found no regulation that stated people like you couldn't be in the run for the OCT selection."

"Wow, that's great..."

At that point in time, I really didn't know what to believe anymore. Was I in? Was I out? Was I supposed to be there at all or not? What was going on!?!?

This completely threw me out for the interview. I didn't really worry too much as to whether or not I got this award or not. Sure, I wanted it. But after hearing something like this, I had to think about OCT life all over again. My focus was like a crappy cheap torchlight - there was no defined beam. I wanted to cry.

The interview went on as usual. I was the last one to go in out of the 5. This was of great benefit to me because as the 4th person went in, I was able to just calm myself down in the presence of God. So quite basically, I had an upper hand against the other 4 candidates. =D

I went in there, and was myself. They asked me to talk, and I talked. It was like a routine really. Just answered everything without offending too many people and I thought it should be ok. Well, that's what I thought.

When I came out of that room, I was quite pleased with my interview and merrily hopped off to my barrack.

We had another POP drill rehearsal that afternoon which ended up finishing around 1735hrs. After that, we quickly went off to our barracks to get packed. The same old same old boring routine of waiting for the Coy Commander to release us happened. When we finally reached the front gate, we passed through it and went our separate ways.

As we parted, I gave my OC a call because I needed to inform him something about the OCT interview that Monday. I spoke to him about it and said it was ok. Also in that conversation, he told me about the results for the interview I had that morning.

"Have you heard about the interview this morning?"

"Nope. I haven't heard anything yet."

"Oh, well basically you got the award." At this point, I was laughing in my heart because I didn't know what I did to actually get that award. Plus, I did walk into that highly top secret meeting room that morning too. Yet, they still gave me the award. hehehe

"Wow! Really? That's good news then."

"Yeah, there were only two really close candidates but you got it."

"Hehe"

I couldn't believe it. I got the award. All for God's glory!

Being the youngest, I didn't think I would be the one sweeping the best trainee in the intake award. Also, on top of that, I obviously had to be the best trainee in my squad, so I got that award too. And to God's glory, I also got the best in professional studies and best in operational fitness.

So in all, I managed to sweep all the awards I could get. XD

And I definitely couldn't have done it without my Lord and Saviour. Without Him, I wouldn't have this body to do all the stuff I did in there so it's all thanks to Him. For those wondering, here are the awards I got.

(Apologies for the crappy pic quality. Had to use the webcam to take the pics because there were 'technical difficulties' with my digital cam which I will not disclose over the world wide web because it is simply embarrassing - not that we need another embarrassing comment.)

In clockwise direction starting with the statue -

PNS Statue Award, Best in Ops Fitness, Best Trainee and Best in Professional Studies.

ANG KHENG HUI BOAZ

SQD NS 15/07

STATUETTE AWARD

BEST PNS TRAINEE

Eddie's Million Dollar Cook Off (Part 3)

What happened later that afternoon was what had me in a bundle of nerves for the next two days.

We had to go to the Police Head Quarters to do a psychological test for the OCT posting and I thought it would be something like the first psychological test we all had to take a few months back. This time however, I felt as though I wanted to cry during the test because I had no clue whether what I was putting down was acceptable or not. In other words, I had no idea whether what I was answering was any where near right.

Basically, this was the section I was struggling with.

They issued us several paragraphs with heaps of statements and facts - each of which were different. However, as we read it, we had to suggest the validness of the 4 responses given relating to a statement in regard to the paragraph given. We did that by answering whether they were 'True', 'False' or 'Can't Tell'.

Sounds easy enough. But combine the elements of being timed in a completely silent tiny room with 9 people crowded around one puny circular table and the most confusing paragraphs of facts and you got Boaz crying out "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me!?"

Besides that section, the other 3 sections were personality tests, so I doubt I could get any of those ones wrong - unless I was lying all the way through which wouldn't be true because I have never lied once in my entire life ... not even when I blog.

After that test, which was around 4:40pm, the OC who drove us there and picked us up was innocently persuaded to allow us to stop by KFC to grab something to eat. He had to contemplate his decision to abide because by right, he wasn't allowed to do such a thing. But being angels as we always are, he said to us, "I'll safely assume you guys finished at 5:30pm. Be at the place I drop you guys off by 5:30pm. If you're not there on time, I will no wait!"

So with a big grin on our faces, we went to eat ... and it was good.

5th June, 2007 (Thursday)

My OC told me to report to the Co-ordination office at 9:15am for an OCT interview training.

Just to be brief, what happened in there was that we were briefed on how we were to conduct ourselves if we made it to the final OCT interview that following Monday (9th June). That interview, we would have to go to the Old PA to be interviewed by a bunch of other high ranking officers as well as a psychologist. I guess the psychologist was there to determine how 'true' we were in what we were saying. They told us that she would be looking out for our little body gestures to see if we were confident in whatever we were saying.

Anyway, in that morning interview at 9:15am, only four of us made it. The other two were eliminated because they didn't project themselves well in the first interview. So we were the final 4 left in the run for OCT.

Also during this interview training, we were told that by the end of the day, at 5pm, we would know the results for the psychological test. So that was it, the moment of truth was gonna come. I just had to wait. If I passed the psychological test, I would be in for the final interview on Monday. All I needed to see to was that I had to pass the psychological test.

That evening, around 5pm, we were at the parade square practicing for the POP. I knew that it was somewhere around 5pm because the sun had dropped to a certain angle and it was clear that dusk was coming soon.

Knowing that one of the guys in the OCT selection would get the SMS for the results, I went to him to ask if he had gotten the message.

As I approached, I heard him say to his squad mate, "The three of us got in." And they were giving each other this really shocked and happy look at the same time.

When I came up to ask them what the results were, they glanced at each other before inexpressibly telling me that I didn't make it.

In a state of utter shock, I backed away saying, "Oh ok." Flashing a thumbs up at them.

I went back with my group to form up for our POP rehearsal but there was no doubt that my mind was somewhere else. My mind had dropped into a state of free fall because I had so much faith that I would get through. My trust was in God and when I discovered I was out, I felt terrible!

So many people helped me go through, and so many people had belief that I was gonna go through. Everyone was 101% sure I was gonna surpass all obstacles to go through. Everyone had faith in me.

But! I stuffed up. I stuffed it up bad. People carried me so highly all the way only to allow myself to stuff up the only opportunity I had. And it was because of the psychological test that I did that I mucked it all up. It was awful. Those few minutes after receiving news, I blamed myself completely.

As soon as the rehearsal was over, I needed a few moments by myself. I really had to reflect on what had happened. Why God allowed me to get so caught up in something only to let me be disappointed. I pondered on whether there was a lesson to learn from all this. The only thing that could get me 'active' was to try to look on the positive side of things. So I thought about how everything had been an adventure and how I can benefit from this experience.

And so later that night, I promised the others I would go to the cafe for dinner because they had all been told that everyone who failed the first exam passed the re-test. So trying to hide the disappointment within, I agreed to celebrate with them.

On the way to the cafe, one of the officers instructed us to report for finger print taking. Not having much of a choice, we went, and we all lined up for our turn. As I was standing in line, I remained considerably silent and conservative. That remained till I realised my OC was calling for me as he wanted to speak to me.

It was clear that my OC wanted to tell me that I didn't get in. So before he had a chance to say anything, I immediately told him that I knew. I knew that I was out and I felt awful. Surprised that I knew, he asked how I found out.

After explaining the whole situation he goes, "Do you know why you were dropped?"

"I'm not sure but I think it is because of the psychological test we did. I think I failed that test"

"No, no. It wasn't. You're volunteering for NS now right?"

"Yeah. I'm still 17 now."

"Well, policy states that people Volunteering for Early Enlistment are not allegeable for the Officer course."

"What!? Really!? That's a relief! Because the whole time I thought I failed the test and it was all my fault. So many of you had so much confidence in me and I had to go and stuff it up. And to hear that, that's a relief!" From then on, I felt so much better. To know that it wasn't my fault that I had lost the position was such a great thing to hear.

"No, it wasn't your fault. It's ok. It's a bit sad that you got this far only to be told that you are not allegeable for the course. In a way it was a bit unfair because when I sent in your application for your nomination, they should have done the research to determine if you were allegeable."

"Yeah, it would have been a lot better if they did that. Cause after getting my hopes up, I was a lot more disappointed after getting this far. I felt really bad that I might have failed it myself."

"No, don't worry, it wasn't your fault. So what do you think about all this?"

"Well, it was nice to have so many people supporting me and I'll never forget it. And I guess it has been an adventure to have gotten this far. Thanks a lot sir."

"Well, you better go and break the news to your fellow squad mates, especially those concerned about you."

"Ok sir. Thank you."

With such a relief in my mind, I was able to enjoy the night in the cafe with my friends. Even though I didn't get in, at least it wasn't my fault that I wasn't able to reach the finals.

The night drove on as people offered their sympathies to me and I am grateful for it. To see that so many people believed in me was good enough for me. Not only did my whole squad support me 100%, but all the other officers involved as well, such as my OC, the OC of all the OCs and other high ranking officers. To learn that many people were also shocked to discover this policy was good in a way that I will never forget.

And what happened later that evening at the cafe would be one phone conversation from my OC I would never forget either.

To Be Continued ...