Band of Brothers

Argh, I've gotta blog. I've gotta blog.

I was telling Tiffany just a few moments ago about how I have to get to the 'determine whether to blog or not' stage before getting to the point where I decide to blog. But somehow, I've managed to skip that stage and just went straight into blogging. Why? I'm not quite sure why.

I've been meaning to blog, but after putting it off for so long, I don't really feel like blogging.. Something's gotten into me these past few weeks that made me feel and think differently from what I've been used to.

I think it's cause I haven't been able to get my way these few weeks that I've gotten a bit agitated with the smallest things that I don't usually get agitated about. Like what happened yesterday after my night shift. It was a Sunday morning and I was taking the morning bus back to my grandmother's place. As I boarded, I realised that I was practically the only one on the bus. That made me think that I was gonna get back earlier than expected because it's a Sunday morning and people won't be out too early, so we should zoom right pass all the bus stops and arrive sooner.

However, that wasn't really the case. Just because there weren't anyone at the bus stops, and just because there wasn't anyone who wanted to get off at each bus stop, the bus driver had to 'make sure' no one was coming, and would slow down till the very last moment when the bus was just about to come to a complete stop at each bus stop to decide that no one was really coming. That really irritated me. I was on the verge of going into a state of rage that morning but thought to myself, what has become of me? Why am I getting so ticked off like this so easily? I've gotten irritated so easily about such a non-life threatening ordeal. Something's happened.

I've also noticed that since going into the police world of division life, I've become some what less mature and more playful. Reason being, that's the level I find myself communicating best with the people there. No offence to any of my fellow officers who may read this, but the majority of the people there have sunk to a whole new level of lifelessness and because of this, there is hardly any one there who is willing to have a good meaningful conversation about things that are worth talking about. It's become this new routine of mine to endure whatever childish acts that they enjoy playing in the police station which would sometimes mean making fun of an accused with a helium-like-voice or laughing at a robber who is scared of a cockroach.

I may be digging my own grave if someone from the station reads this but there are 40 year old men in there who have the exact same personality and characteristic of a 12 year old child. Heck, even our station sergeant would play pranks with our fellow NS security officers. He'd call them on the phone to come to the charge office because he has something 'important' to show them. Upon arrival, he would eventually be caught hiding in one of the rooms at the back while posing in a squatting-like position giggling at them. Oh and he wouldn't do this just once or twice? Oh no. There were multiple occasions when he would play such pranks. And I've heard that it started long ago, so this wasn't something new.

This is just one of the few sad cases that I've heard about. I'm sure there's more, but I haven't unearthed them just yet. But just looking at the situation they're in. Or, the situation I'm currently in, I won't have to look far for a sad story. I mean working two days, one in the morning and one at night, then getting two days off, where's the sanity of having a purpose filled life in that? It's barely possible to wanna plan something the following week because of the irregularity of the system. And even if you wanted to take leave, and you get it approved, it just takes one joker to take MC, and there goes your whole plan of travelling overseas. I've been called back twice, and I have barely been here three months. That just shows you how miserable things can get.

Well, one thing leads to another, and by the end of it all, it's a sad life you'll be living. I guess the only thing that keeps us NS men sane is the fact that'll all end in less than 2 years - some more than others. If I compare the life and the sanity of the NS men with the regulars, it's clear to see the difference of a more meaningful person with a person who's trapped till retirement.

That's the thing. With almost all of the police officers there, there's no where else to go. Most of them are trapped in there with no other possibilities of starting a career else where. Mainly because they didn't have a choice due to the lack of education and had to join the police force for some sort of income. And because of the lack of education, they don't have anywhere else to go. That is the most common reason for all the regulars I've talked to who wanted to get out but couldn't. There's no where to go.

They're all telling us to no join. Do not sign on. It's like the souls who have already chosen their life in eternity by not following Jesus and have gone straight to hell, shouting at the souls who still have a chance to take the path of a christian. But some of us are just too stubborn. Some of us are just too blind. By the time we realise, it's too late, and we're stuck with no where else to go. I'm so glad I'm not stuck.

There is something about the people here that strikes me as amazing. I haven't really encountered anything of the sort during my years of travelling and to see this, in Singapore of all places, I've been touched and realised what I've been missing out.

Brotherhood.

Basically, there are two things that people do around here that make the 'brotherhood' around here such a nice place to live in. One, most guys call each other 'brother' or 'bro'. I haven't really encountered that many people calling each other or strangers by that title. And it's really nice actually. If you don't know what to call someone, just call them brother. If you don't know their name, just call them brother. Lol, that's how useful it is. And it's nice as well. Imagine the situation for yourself cause I really can't be bothered setting a scenario. lol

The other thing that makes the brotherhood here so much more visible is how everyone waits for one another. Or if someone wants to go to the toilet, we'd go together. I failed to realise this when I first came here, and when my friends asked me, I'd reply my usual and give them an honest answer like, "Nah, I'm good." That's how I did it in the past! I'd say if I wanted to go or not because there wasn't any point in me going if I didn't need to go. But now, it's different. Even if I didn't wanna go, I'll go. Just for company. And it's nice. I'd now ask my friend if he'd wanna go for breakfast and stuff, and I notice he'll usually answer positively and we'd co-ordinate it such that we'll be at the canteen together. It even went to the extent of climbing 4 storeys just to wait for our friends to change clothes before heading off together. I was kinda reluctant to go up that time because some of us could have gone home straight, but that just shows how far brotherhood goes around here.

Well, I can't be bothered with anymore blogging now. I hope that's enough to show that I'm still alive and well .... or something like that.

In exactly 2 weeks time, I will be in the Police Academy again, so expect at least one more blog post before then. And when I come out from there, after my first week of confinement, expect another blog update. Hopefully I'll come bearing good news. In the mean time, my days of division life are numbered. =D =(